ways to raise modest Children

[Quran 7:26] "O children of Adam, we have provided you with garments to cover your bodies, as well as for luxury. But the best garment is the garment of righteousness. These are some of God's signs, that they may take heed."

"Verily, there is a (special) morality of every religion.

And the (special) morality of Islam is modesty"

-Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him,

Ibn Majah

The very first aspect of hiya or modesty is being God conscious, a person who is well aware of the fact that Allah is watching him/her never participate in an activity which is not permissible. Teaching about the attributes of Allah SWT and their understanding at young age can help children to be modest.
However, being shy or modest in dress, speech, and behavior is considered something archaic, even prehistoric today. Yet, this is a key virtue of Islam. It’s what distinguishes a person of faith and God-consciousness. A world which is beautified with movie stars, media icons, porn stars and idols it is becoming harder for parents to teach their children modesty Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah may be upon him) once told:

“Shall I tell you about the inhabitants of Paradise? They are all modest persons. Shall I tell you about the inhabitants of Hell? They are all ignoble, rude and proud ones.” (Bukhari)l-Haya (modesty) does not bring anything except good.” (Al-Bukhari 6117)
In spite of helping us being caring, modesty also helps us to be protective. We know, modesty covers everything we do in our life, including how we speak, treat others, and how we get dealt with worldly temptation.

1. Start with yourself

A parent is the first role model for children, make sure that you are fulfilling the standards of modesty. However, Good parents aren't perfect. And that's okay. You can grow every day. In order to be a great parent, it is important to first know and evaluate how you are doing. A home where parents watch movies, dramas openly with their children, talk openly and use abusive words often produce immodest children. So the first step towards building a modest family is your own self, so keep in mind my fellow Muslim parent, modesty is not only the way you dress up, although it is a huge part of it. Toddlers learn by imitating us - our words, behaviors and choices. As moms and dads, we can model modesty for our young sons or daughters through our actions and personal choices.

2. Monitor media consumption

Don’t ever blindly trust your child keep a keen eye on them without giving them the sense that you are spying on them. Use parental control on your smart devices, use desktops for your children and keep those PCs where they can easily be supervised, it may seem old fashioned but it is for their safety. Talk with them often, guide them when they need, it is better that we watch with them often it will build friendship and frankness.

3. Don’t make double standards

 A society where people have double standards for modesty for boys and girls, a society where we restrict girls to wear hijab and we don’t teach our boys to lower their gaze, without knowing that both are answerable before Allah.We know that modesty in men is far more challenging. A boy who is brought up in a modest way is ten percent more effective than a girl. Don’t only emphasize on your girls, sometimes it makes them rebellious in an environment where feminists highlight such aspects of religion, give your child confidence with practice of the right message of deen.
4. Turn away from those things you can’t avoid
Sometime we have certain restrain that we cannot avoid, for example, our family, environment and society. But Allah does not burden a soul that it cannot carry, there are way out. You have the choice to maintain your ties of like minded people, give your children  a company of  who are practicing  modesty, it will give them a less strange feeling about themselves. As Prophet S.A.W told us that a man is on deen of his friend. Chose the right company from the start.

5. Give them dress guidelines

We should not intentionally dress our 2-year-olds in clothes that we didn't want them wearing at 15. Islam gives us a complete dress code for all time, it should be a complete part of our study that how should we dress inside the home, how we should look when we go outside

For women, when in public among unrelated (non-mahram) men:

· Clothing must cover the entire body except for the face and hands when in the company of non-related males.
· Clothing must be loose, so the shape of the body is not seen.
· Thick enough so that it is not see-through.
· Should not resemble the clothing of men.
· Should not be ostentatious.

For men:

· Clothing must conceal whatever is between the naval and knee.
· Must be loose and thick, so that the private area remains concealed.
· All garments must be above the ankle bone.
· Should not resemble the clothing of women.
· They should not resemble something that merely seeks to imitate un-Islamic practices/fashions (e.g. clothing of Buddhists, priests, rabbis, hip-hop artists, movie stars, etc.)
· It cannot be made of silk or coloured/dyed with saffron.

6. Make Dua

“Tie your camel, then put your trust in Allah”, the Prophet told a Bedouin man who was about to leave his only source of transportation to roam free.  It’s the same with parenting and any other endeavor. We can and must take the steps necessary to accomplish our goals, but ultimately, Allah is the One Who knows and sees all things, and He makes all things possible.