Sibling jealousy

Causes and ways to deal

Jealousy, envy or Hasad is one of the oldest emotions started from the Satan up till today. However, it is an emotion that grows in very early age. Most parents witness these emotions among siblings. We have all hard story of habeel and kabeel (Abel and Cane) the first siblings on the earth, were also victims of jealousy which later on caused first murder on the earth, having set that we must understand that there are two forms of jealousy in the kids one is the normal and the other is abnormal jealousy.

In normal jealousy kids feel but try to hide their emotions, but in abnormal form they show their emotions that can be manifested by abnormal violent and negative behavior that can also harm others. Sometime they show it by clinging to the mother and staying in her lap (mostly in toddlers), bed wetting in the night or hitting the siblings. In bit grown up kids, bully is the verbal form where we can manifest jealousy. We have to go through the causes to find out the cure. 

Here are a few causes

· Birth of a new baby is the very first cause, at this stage mothers usually cannot maintain balance in the children, their negligence sows the seed of jealousy in the hearts of older one.

· When a parent keeps on transferring older kid’s belonging to the younger ones and older ones gets the new stuff. These second-hand things can hurt the emotions of your kids for the lifetimes, and they will start thinking older ones their enemy. 

· The Comparison makes things worst for little hearts every child is gifted with different abilities and capabilities, even twins are not the same.

· Harsh treatment, making a child make them feel bad about themselves.  

Ways to deal 

· Our beloved Prophet (P.B.U.H) one of his companions (R.A) to treat his boys equally. In another place He (P.B.U.H) guide us to maintain balance between daughters and sons to that extent that if you kiss your son then you must kiss your daughter as well.

· Do not compare children, even if you want to encourage the child.

· Encourage and reward children on cooperation.

· When you have a newborn try to avoid care the baby too much in front of other children.

· Never make fun of kids, discourage bullying culture in the home.

· Treat them with love as an esteemed member of your family. 

· Never discusses physical appearance  within your home, never make them feel that physical superiority makes any difference in your love and their abilities.  

· Buy things equally, even if you cannot afford, children have feelings don’t hurt them

Envy destroys human relationship, it’s a parent’s duty to prevent and address this in childhood to avoid future problems